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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Back then, the notion that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the peak of indignity. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more confounding – an oftentimes unsuccessful pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who matured during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a detailed glossary to the words Zoomers is using to talk about love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the recent most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – According to Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies going for someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do low-cost dating in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: embracing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral traits signaling a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes crazy, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your decision to pursue a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane turnoffs that instantly shut down any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {